I hope things even out for you soon and you can get back to feeling good again. I know it's no fun going through the stuff you having to endure. But hold on to the fact you are loved and cared about. Right all you want and if anyone reads it so what. It's raw feelings and what better way to get them out of you than writing the down. Don't be afraid to ask your father-in-law to bring you CBT book if you need it. It's a good sign you want help. Best wishes to you.