I suffer from depression/anxiety/high blood pressure/arthritis/valley fever/ hashimotos thyroiditis, and am super morbidly obese (BMI 52). Last week I added another diagnosis - Type 2 diabetes. I want to change I really do, but I have so many obstacles the main one being my family is completely non supportive. My brother has been a type 2 diabetic for 3 years and he doesn't care, still eats like a pig. If I cook healthy low glycemic meals that are serving sizes, he accuses me of starving him. I fully accept that what I put in my mouth is my responsibility and no one is forcing me to eat. I have SO many bad habits to overcome. In some ways I feel like I have an eating disorder. anorexics try to take control by controlling what they eat, I feel out of control because of my family and I think that spills over into my eating. I know there are foods I will overeat on til they are gone so I don't bring them in the house (ice cream and sugary cereals mostly) However I can't stop others from doing it.I must find a way to be strong in spite of it all. I don't really have anyone to support me. My insurance has a diabetic educator that I made an appointment with so I know exactly what to eat. Weight loss surgery is out for now for mostly monetary reasons and the fact that it takes so long to qualify and I have to do something now before it's too late. How do you sustain motivation? I know this isn't a short term diet but a life long commitment.
The thing is I have a terrible relationship with food and I think I need counseling. I have trained myself that there shouldn't be leftovers. I need to be disciplined to only eat a portion and not worry bout the rest (my brother would prob eat it too) I actually don't enjoy eating. I like sandwiches and fast food because I can eat fast and not think about food. I think I need to tackle the heart of how to make food my friend again and not the enemy. I don't even like to eat anymore. I sometimes wish I could just take a pill or a shot and be done with it. I can't avoid food altogether the way an alcoholic can avoid alcohol. I tried OA but we only have 1 meeting in town and it just didn't feel right plus it is far away and I really don't drive much these days. Anything you can say, sources to maintain motivation, easy (really easy as in few ingredients I cant stand when a recipe calls for a ton of herbs and spices. we keep garlic onion powder salt and pepper on hand but that's it) low glycemic recipes, ideas, whatever. I just need a good support system that understands the unique challenges those of us with a lot to lose face.