Yesterday I was feeling very depressed and suicidal. I was trying to think through all of my problems and I felt like I was getting tangled in a web of complicated nonsense that made no sense at all - the closer I got to making sense of it, the more something else stopped making sense. Eventually I gave up and put myself to bed at 4 in the afternoon. I woke up at midnight and took an allergy pill to help myself sleep through the rest of the night.

Now I feel like I've somehow broken my mind. I feel like a different person this morning. I don't feel the same types of emotional attachments to things, I feel like I have fewer emotions. I feel like all of my perceptions of things are different. I don't feel like me anymore, it's almost like I'm standing outside of the confusing, muddled mess that is--well, me. But I'm scared, because I don't know where I am or who I am if I'm not me. I need to find out how to get back inside of myself. I feel like this isn't even reality. Help please, I need to know what to do. Will this go away? This has never happened before, at least not like this. It feels kind of nice, but I don't want to be like this forever.