Thanks for all the replies. I have missed you all and appreciate the warm welcome! Have to watch out for my forum addiction as it got a bit out of hand.
So I think it's probably true that he hasn't forgotten and is just waiting for me to bring it up.
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Originally Posted by pegasus
I would take the toy back with me to the next session and put it on the table and then start a discussion how the toy had helped me and then take it from there. That would get the conversation going again about needing a transitional object and put the 'T' back into the toy.  |
This is such a great idea, thank you. I read the first part and thought oh no, I don't want to bring it back - I actually felt kind of threatened by that. But then I read the part about putting the T back into it. I love that idea.
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Originally Posted by A Red Panda
He might think that you like the idea of keeping it "without him knowing" in a way? Like... him accepting that you have a part of him at home and that it doesn't bother him, whereas if he was to ask you about it or bring it up it might come across as if he is bothered by it or wants it brought back. By not saying anything, he's demonstrating that he accepts it and encourages the comfort it brings you, and that it might be a demonstration of unconditional caring.
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You could be onto something. I was assuming either he forgot about it or he didn't care or, deep down, there was a worry that he didn't want it back because he didn't want me to contact him more (though I have contacted him between sessions since the Easter break).
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Originally Posted by HazelGirl
maybe him not caring about it is "breaking" your connection with it?
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Originally Posted by Bill3
I will offer an additional possibility: it feels like T is ignoring part of you by ignoring what "should" be a topic of discussion, the fact that you have something from his office.
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Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
I'm speculating, but I wonder if your being annoyed about the toy is a redirection of being annoyed that it can only ever be the toy, ie you can't take him with you and absorb him into your life outside the therapy context?
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YOU ARE ALL GENIUSES.
I am not kidding. So many insights that never even occurred to me, or that I had an inkling of and couldn't quite express. Thank you all so much. I haven't quite untangled which of these things are and are not true, but a lot of them carry a ring of truth.
Thank you