you sound like a wonderful lady.Its so hard when you know what would make you feel better but lack the motivation to put it in action.Its the depression and all I know is to take it a little step at a time.Maybe go for a walk, sometimes that clears the cobwebs away for me,remember these feelings ,although overwhelming at times, do ease.I really do feel for you and understand how you feel.Thankyou for sharing your thoughts and feelings.I think you are wonderful to be able to do so and I hope that you are brightened by others comments.