Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
Sometimes what I want from my T is a feeling I can't quite name. Love, security, interest, attention, pity, admiration... My yearning is full of contradictions so that some days there's pretty much nothing she can do or say that satisfies it.
|
I know what you mean. I think it's a whole bunch of stuff that was missing from childhood. Or childhood full stop, maybe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
If your T lets go of your happy toy and gives it to you, it's no longer his, no longer him. If he wants it back, it's like saying you can't have him. Maybe you need to bring it in and recharge it with his essence? That sounds silly of course but what I mean is that maybe you need to talk about what it is about him that you need hold onto between sessions. What does it means to hold onto happy toy, how do you feel knowing it's there, and ultimately, what kind of security does it represent that you hope to internalize?
|
That doesn't sound silly. It couldn't be less silly, in fact, even if it put on a suit and sat a maths exam. And I adore the fact you've called it happy toy. I think it's now going to be called Happy Toy Therapistname in my head.
[quote=Favorite Jeans;3759852]If your T doesn't need the keys, he can just leave. If he takes them back, he can just leave. But if you know he needs them and he's still letting you hold onto them, you know that you have him nearby.
Or he might decide he doesn't need his keys and leave without them. He might stop mentioning the keys, and I might wonder if he's going to do that. Some child part of me, that is.
Thank you for sharing that insight from your own childhood. Thank you, all of you, so many things I just hadn't thought of. I might make a list of them all and take them to my next T session (Friday) because I haven't a clue which ones are/aren't true.