He is always calling and texting people, i.e. coming into session he'll mention casually oh bad traffic so I was just on my phone texting for the past hour... Sometimes in session I'll catch him looking at his phone, a few times even texting. I've gotten the impression he talks to clients, texts clients, emails them etc. I could be wrong, but that was my impression.

He's said before that email is ok, calling is ok, within reason. In over 60 sessions I've emailed maybe 8-10 times and gotten usually a sentence response or maybe two. If I email something happy, response will come in hours, "that's great!" When I need a response however, when my email is desperate and depressed, I either won't get one or I'll wait for 5 + days. Like the one time I sent an email when I was in the middle of a breakdown, then freaked out and sent another that night apologizing for the first, then had a panic attack, then sent a third email apologizing more, long before I got any response I had relapsed and had another a panic attack complete with vomiting!

As you may guess, this has just recently happened again. But now I'm very pissed and I think I need to find a new therapist. The last session he said he wanted me to embrace my neediness. (Never mind that the last two sessions were cut short because he was looking bored.) Well I thought I was doing that when I sent a short email, and it just hurt me more when there was no response. All I needed is a sentence. How is this helpful for me to build up the courage to share my pain and I get back a very clear response that I am a burden and an annoyance and a pain to deal with? The other thing I've been very bothered by is that he asks me almost no questions. Does anyone else have this? I need a therapist who asks questions, is this normal?

I emailed him when I was really hurting, maybe I didn't convey that enough, maybe it's just not a big deal to anyone but me... but what's the fing point of a therapist? When I'm alone and want to die, the reality is just that. My therapist has no idea what it's like to be me. He's never been this alone. This feels like abandonment and it is what fuels suicidal thoughts for me. Am I alone in this?