My personal feeling is; Women should stick together & not let men divide us.

I'm not sure you understand what some of us here do. Your married man is not any different than any other married man who says to the woman he is cheating with, "my marriage is over", "my wife is evil, or a drunk, or crazy", or any number of things that a man would say to gain your sympathy. Poor Baby. It's amazing how many women are willing to throw another woman under the bus and climb over her broken body to get to the man driving said bus.

So pardon me if it offends you that married men cheating almost always follows a pretty predictable script. Many of us here have seen it and heard it too many times not to notice.

I personally was suggesting you stop being demanding and back off so he can go ahead and do what he told you he is going to do. That is not criticism but a good suggestion, and there is a bit of a warning in there too; just because he said it, doesn't make it so until the papers are signed.

And this is the truth. You have no power in this situation. He holds all the cards and will do this if & when he wants to, not when you do.
You just have to wait until he is divorced. Until then, you are just the mistress to him, nothing more, no matter how sweet he talks.

Pressuring him for attention, I can guarantee you, will not serve you well.

So please protect yourself, find the strength you need in other places, and not from him, because you will need it. If he divorces her to marry you, you will always know that he is capable of cheating. You saw it first hand.

And if you read this as judgmental; so be it. Consider it a favor and practice for the judging you will receive in RL. I am merely expressing concern for a woman who seems to be unraveling a bit as she waits for someone else to decide her fate.