I don't know if your therapist is using tactics to somehow manipulate you to express yourself more or if he just isn't a good therapist, but I'm afraid I'm leaning pretty strongly to the second explanation because it sounds like he's done several things that cross the line- not responding to you when you sent occasional distressed emails (especially if there was a reason to think you were suicidal) and doing anything with phone or text during your session is a huge no-no for most therapists I think, especially if he didn't even excuse himself. Perhaps he's been good to you in some ways, and you're attached to him, but I can't see any way around the fact that he crossed the line in some ways. I don't think it's acceptable to text during session as a "tactic" to "help" the client.

It sounds like you know you need to express yourself more like several people on here suggest. But that doesn't mean you have to tolerate a somewhat unethical T who is doing some genuinely uncaring things. It might be easier to learn to express yourself with someone who is more supportive.

But you said it would be hard to leave him now and you're probably attached to him. Is it possible to visit other t's without telling him, so that you can start to build some support for yourself elsewhere, and then decide if you want to talk to him about it and/or leave him?

I think you're right that some therapists foster dependency when it's in their best interest- maybe they aren't capable of seeing beyond their own needs sometimes, and find it easier to blame clients.