I know how you feel. I have had times I just wanted to hide in a cave somewhere and get away from it all. Are you on any medications? Have you seen a medical doc, psychiatrist or therapist? These are things that may be worth looking into. I understand looking at daily pain and suffering, wondering what the next day may bring is hard. Hang in there. You can post to us, we love you and we understand. You can message me anytime you like.