So I had a therapy session today. We havent talked about the sexual abuse I endured growing up in several weeks. Today, my therapist wanted to talk about it. We were talking somewhat casual, and she asked, "so your dad was your only perpetrator growing up right? In your younger years at least."
Before I realized what I was saying, I answered, "he was the main one, yes."
She caught what I said and asked me who else hurt me sexually when I was young. I admitted to her that I think my mom may have but the memories are so spotty, that I don't know for sure.
I have never admitted this to anyone before and it is really causing me to have a hard night. On my way home from session, I wanted so badly to stop at the liquor store and pick up some bottles of something. I don't have the extra money, so I didn't stop. Once home, I found myself fighting the urges to cut, so far I have been able to fight them.

I am embarrassed and disgusted by how many people have assaulted me throughout my life. Now, I may have to add my mom to that list?

Life sucks.