Well, in good news, T replied to my email, so I feel better about that at least.
He knows I probably won't be able to continue to travel to see him. I've already told him that I don't think I can do it. After the last two weeks and my H's reaction I know I can't. The distance would be hard enough on its own, but with H on me about it, no, just not gonna work.
T knows H - we were in couples' counseling with him and I just continued on my own. H is aware of the nature of the therapeutic relationship. He just refuses to have anything to do with it. Chicken**** :-P
Yeah, H would be happier if I had a female T. Thing is though, I'm happier with a male T. I project a lot with women.
One thing is for sure though: I'm not stopping my therapy over this. It's been hard - both with the miserable negative transference and H acting like an overgrown child, but I still feel much better for doing it. I'm going to ask T to refer me or at least recommend someone and I'm not stopping until I'm done, and I figure that'll take years. It took a lifetime to make me like this, after all. I'm not going to be 'cured' in a few months (like H seems to believe). It's not Lourdes FFS!

I know phone therapy works great for some people, but I hate phone contact. I have stuff with phones...