Maybe. She refuses to discuss that with me. I think she's trying to keep money out of the relationship until there's no other choice.

She knows I will pay her if I have to. But she also knows I can't afford much. I receive SSI as my only source of income. So if I paid her the normal hourly rate...I would be spending 70% of my income on therapy

I'm pretty sure we could work something out though.... I just have an extreme fear of abandonment and rejection (I have BPD...) and this is PAINFUL!!!

I know she will always be apart of my life in someway or another (until one of us dies ), but I need someone who is physically present...tangible...touchable...real.

I don't mean to whine, and I know there are still many possibilities ahead... Just wish I could avoid such situations... I guess this is a character building exercise???