That sounds absolutely awful. Sorry that you ran into your mom, the source of a lot of pain, and had to experience more of it. Have you had any therapy to help you with this? My mom was addicted to pain killers (among many of her other problems) and became manipulative and abusive, leaving a legacy of sadness and pain. It's made me feel guilty, hopeless, and depressed and still does sometimes but finding support and finding people who remind you that you are not defined by your parents' problems is vitally important. Cry, let it all out for as long as it takes and keep telling yourself that you are NOT defined by your parents' problems even if there are times when you don't believe it. There's much more to you than that. And there are legions of us who understand feelings like you're having even if our situations aren't quite the same. Take care.