I don't mind relationships, I just can't stand how all the time I'm very incompatible and opening up is hard because I know they won't agree, but I respect how they feel, but it's what they say out of ignorance or feel like I'm less of a human from either how they respond with something hurtful or just silence of not a good kind of silence. I find it stupid, I have not ever found one female. I'm not constantly, I just get scared for girls to want a relationship, because it's not going to work. I mean in my mind yeah because I don't want to disappoint because I'm not like them. I don't want to be a guy whose pulled around. I don't want a stereotypical relationship.
I just want to feel free around this person. I mean I'm non monogamous, doesn't mean at all I will cheat. I despise cheating from anyone. I respect other people's relationships which mentioning it is irrelevant other than my only words of credibility.
I can't talk to girls who are completely ignorant, I use the word stupid a lot for those certain people not just females, but I'm not saying she is stupid and can't think for herself, I mean she can't be respectful to anyone because she won't understand her actions or how to really love.
Those are the kind of girls I attract, I started saying no a lot, because I don't care how hot or whatever if you like me or not. I don't want it, because when I get red flags like, "you're the guy do this that and everything for me because that's what guys do."
That's where I put my foot down I find it ridiculous for me to do that. If I want to be a gentleman it's on my perrogative and out of my genuine self that I want to be on my A game not because I'm expected to because of my body parts. I don't pressure females for sex, I don't like being like being pressured by anyone.
I find this so frustrating I'm like not wanting to date or anything and girls are like being vulgar not in the joking way. I mean some females are worse than dudes. It's sounds silly to most guys who say stuff like, "quit complaining chicks want to bang you. You're lucky I can take that off your hands."
I'm fed up, that girls I meet don't understand me ever. I get so sad sometimes, because I want to be a girl I want to have the abilities to do what most girls do and be a lesbian, because I don't worry bout being a guy as a barrier.
This sounds weird to most people, but it's what I suffer when I go in public or places with friends. I have lots of female friends and a lot of guy friends. I'm happy being poly not polygamy, because I don't want marriage I don't believe in it, but mainly I've always wanted to be in a serious relationship/more of a close girlfriend friendship like girls do when they go out do things together. It makes me so sad, because sometimes, I've been told a lot it won't ever work people don't understand and will stick to what they know in monogamy.
It's scary I mean when a girl talks bout being monogamous to me, because I'm not going to convert her. I gotta tell her straight up it's not going to work immediately, because I'm not going to try to impress or go out my way for something that won't happen. I find it annoying that people who I can potentially match with don't exist much where I live and my age or people who think like me with that who are female, because most of the time like a lot of young people my age still can't think for themselves and makes it hard to distinguish people who are poly and people who want whatever.
I'm trying to get to the point is that, being yourself is all you can do, but it's very discouraging when you're yourself and people believe in a society that be yourself except if you're like this that this or that you're not normal and not capable of anything or love whatever. I'm serious people think like that a lot guys and girls around me try to pressure me to settle for this person or that. I'm like no, can't I ever meet one person I'm actually attracted to a lot that I like back that can agree with me with common interests to make it easier to feel intimate.
Other than that being single is awesome. I just get scared bout that stuff.