I'm sorry. I've had cats for 30+ years and I know how hard it is. As sad as I was each time, there was also a relief that my girls weren't suffering anymore.

Be proud of yourself; it is a very selfless thing you are doing. You did what you could, you gave him 10 great years of your love, but you recognize you can't help him any longer. He will always be a part of your life, he will always be a part of your heart.

I cried each time and grieved each loss. Allow yourself time to grieve and be gentle with yourself.