smmath, we are planning another cross-country move. I cannot move until we find a place that takes dogs, so my wife is up there trying to get a job, save money, and find us a place to live. she has been the main reason I stopped sh recently, so the stress of the move combined with my main barrier to acting on any urges being gone makes it really hard to resist. we have been living with my mom, and it's a negative environment for a variety of reasons (lots of past abuse happened here, she is very negative, very little social or mh support...).

I've been trying other things to help the urges go away, but they are not really helping. I was going to look into additional supports while I'm stuck here, but I don't qualify for any programs that my insurance actaully covers (limited state insurance). I know I need some structure and stuff, but it's really difficult to do on my own. So I'm here struggling to hold it together. The urges really do suck. I know it's not always bad, but it keeps coming back even after so long.