Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
Have you explicitly expressed your needs to friends/family?
Have you said, "I know you can't understand but I need you to just be present for me when I'm struggling", or something similar but equally detailed?
The reason I ask is this, people can't smell eachother's needs, and when there's an especially complex issue, its hard to try and figure out just how to be supportive.
If you have expressed your needs and you're still hearing "I'm sorry Idk what to say to you" then I think its time you rethink your supportive cast members...
Of course people are readily supportive when we're doing well, a pat on the back is appropriate and easy to hand out, but when they're dealing with things that are out of their depth, they need a push in the right direction and some readily available information.
Many of us deal with this beast alone, I too suffered in silence for years, until I learned to recognise and identify the type of support I was actually getting, and until I learned I need to ask for specific types of help.
But when I want someone who actually gets what I'm saying and can relay how they coped in the same shoes, that's when I come here.
Here are lots of friendly, knowledgable and supportive folks on the Bipolar Express with you 
I'm sorry you're having such a scary episode, you can post about it here if you like, maybe get some feedback?  |
You are absolutely right. I'm not being clear about what I need. I was diagnosed 25 years ago but remained in denial and quite honestly would be in the depths of my illness and I was incapable of recognizing the signs. I had my first episode of wellness for about 6 months and I worked hard to maintain that wellness with a lot of therapy. This time around I am so much more aware and more frightened than ever because I am so aware of what's coming. I also try and hide my symptoms because I'm ashamed that I'm becoming unwell again. So really this is my own fault because out of the blue I become very unstable in the eyes of others and I think they're shocked because I don't share when I see it coming. I already decided this morning that I need to come clean with this family member, lay it out for her and yes, tell her what I need during these episodes. Having said that, this mixed episode is very new for me and I don't even know what I need right now. I'm really having a hard time maintaining clarity.
First step is being real about it all to myself and then to my select others. Thank you so much for your reply, you really made me think and I'm so grateful to have stumbled over this site.