So today I handed in the suds sheet for csa, in preparation for exposure therapy, and we started from the minimal things of discomfort and avoidance, which are, intimacy, saying intimate words, saying words related to trauma, triggers, ect.. and the worst being the actual csa by the first person.

Well, the exposure therapy wont start for another month, for now, we starte talking about intimacy, and how I feel when im touched, omg, how long its been since I been intimate omg , except she used the s word, repeatedly, omg, how I feel after, I wanted to run out the room.

She aso told me she will introduce slowly some words into our conversation in time, and we are going to work on me sayin them.

This, is not even exposure yet!!!!!! This is at the bottom of my list. She also said the session will be ten min of discussing my week, 40 min of suds talk until we start exposure, and the last 10 grounding.

I hate my t.