I think it's too much, all this stuff I have going on. I put so much energy and time into trying to help others, raise my kids pretty much on my own, work full time and then some, teach other people's kids, blah blah blah. It's like I'm still trying to be perfect to hide the pain and trying to run away from it at the same time. With all I do to stay busy and all I've done to try to heal, I still spend most of my day fixated on THEM -- the ones who attacked me. I see them everywhere and in so many other faces. I worry about whether they are still coaxing kids into their basement to do what they did to me. I wish they would get old and die already. I really just want to let this all go, but it just won't. I want to shake this off. It's been almost 30 years.

mtd