I feel very anxious today. I've been watching tv all morning and everything on there triggers my anxiety. I can't stop thinking about death. I have hypochondria, I always google the symptoms of the illness I fear I have and then I realize that I don't have it and i'd feel alright again. But with this new fear of death, all I think is that it's inevitable and it makes me really scared. Maybe this is why I've been consistently anxious all these days and more depressed. Nothing anyone tells me makes me feel like I don't have to worry about it. I'm 20. I don't understand why I started worrying about this at this age. I don't think I know anyone my age who fears this. People my age are worrying about college, friend drama and relationships and I'm worried about dying.

I don't know if I'll ever be okay. Today the doctor told me that my sisters and I should be on meds because having a mental illness runs in our family. He made it seem like I'll never live normally unless I take meds. I wish I wasn't this way.

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