Yeah, self esteem does play a big part. But I just feel no connection to nor desire to be part of the dog-eat-dog rat race of our work culture. The whole process just goes against my core values of being genuine, considerate and selfless. How can I be those things and hold profit above all else? How can I be a teacher and teach things I don't agree with? Be a newscaster and omit important information for a political agenda? Be a manager and force my team to do that which I wouldn't want to do myself, or lay people off to cut costs? Be anything and be expected to sell out just so I can have a little comfort from material things or even to support a family? I don't think I can do it unless I absolutely have no other choice. And not even non-profit or charitable work is immune from it all. I waiver from feeling shame for my somewhat bitter outlook and also being proud that I reject and stand up to what I see as wrong. But sooner or later I am going to have to earn a living among the rats.