I am just dealing with too much and I get mad so easy. When I get mad I feel like punching something and no matter what I try to do to calm myself down it doesn't work. I just get extremely mad. Everything in my life is piling up and it's really getting too much. I hate my life. I want to go somewhere far away where I know no one and never meet anyone. Just spend the rest of my life by myself because that is the closest thing to not existing. I hate myself. I feel so embarressed to be living. I regret everything I do and don't do. No matter who I go to see as a therapist won't make a differnce because I lost my old therapist(he moved away) and I won't ever be able to tell something the things I use to tell him. I have tried and one therpaist thought something was a "safely issue" and told my parents. After that I won't ever trust anyone ever again like I did with my old therapist. My old therapist knew me really good and that's why he didn't take anything I told him as a safety issue. I have so many thoughts when at the same time my dad's life is depending on me(he is depressed) I can't be strong for him when I am going down the same past as him. I know I need to accept my life the way it is now but I just can't accept it. I don't have anyone that I can just vent to. I lost all of my good friends. I feel like I lost everything good in my life.