Wow, ya know, for me, all bets are off when someone has been a caregiver and then through death and that job disappears.
This is an immensely difficult time for this person. Imagine if the tables were turned, how would you feel if you lost your mom or dad; would you hope for your new-ish partner to cut you a little slack and understand you are going through something really really hard? And perhaps be more patient with you instead of expecting more attention from you?

He may just need time to grieve and everyone grieves differently.

It might be a lovely gesture on your part to send him a card or note just saying you still think of him, miss him and hope he is well, and even that you are available if he ever wants to talk. That you understand he has been going through some really hard stuff and you just want him to know that you understand. It leaves the door open a crack... and shows you want to be there for him. This is all IMHO.

What do you think?