Thanks for the replies.

What helped me before was not realizing how screwed up my at the time roommate was and thinking it was my fault she would SI since she always cut after she knew I did. I thought it was my fault and I didn't like to see that she was hurting herself so I stopped. I didn't know/realize at the time that she had issues and was actually copying me so she could get attention. She would run to everyone she knew and tell the she cut. I have since cut all ties with her.

Right now the urges are so strong and the only reason I havent cut yet is because I haven't been home. I don't even want to fight the urges and that scares me because I think I have always faught the urges until I couldn't anymore. I normally use a shaving razor so I can't accidentally go too deep and today, I don't care what I use. I just don't care.