Hi celtic, maybe getting back to the route of where it started might help a bit??? Something about home?????
If you want to talk about it a bit...................????? But if you don't right now, maybe remember that whatever, for whatever reasons, you DID have the strength to stop!!!! Nothing's going to take that away from you, NOTHING!!!! And that was all about YOU, YOU managed it!!!. You put everything else aside, and you had the strength to resist those urges. You can do it!!!
I know, right now it might take a little more support/help to manage/resist those urges again, but it is possible- you've shown that. So one step at a time, hey?? It's sounding like you're trying as hard as you can, and that's all you can do.
There are threads at the top of this forum which may help a bit..........reasons not to.......things to do instead of hurting yourself...............but if you want to talk more about what's going on for you.........sometimes just talking/putting it out there can help....and if we can give you anymore support..........
And "bottom line" (!!!) here for you, whatever you want to talk about.............
Alison