Your fiancee is marrying another man and while I understand she has a child with H#1, she & her daughter need to be building a life with you & yours now. Does she have full custody? If not, that would be something to establish, so that the child has one home and is not ping ponged back and forth between them. I tried the joint custody dance for awhile as my ex insisted on it. But in the end he gave it up without my asking because he could see that my two girls needed to be in one home.

The seven year old is old enough to start going to see dad at his home for visits. Perhaps that is how it will play out after you marry, that he sees her a couple days a week and she has a normal home life with her new blended family.

I see how you would feel like this is just a little too much of the ex in your home and picture. It almost sounds like he wants to be another dad to your daughter, and that does feel a little icky to me. But at the end of the day, his playing with the kids is not such a big deal, as long as the guy goes home! He should be given some parameters to work in, boundaries that everyone concerned is comfortable with. And time with just his daughter, away from the rest of this new family.