I don't know if this is a symptom of anxiety or depression, or if it's just the way I am now.

I am very disciplined and competent at work. I get things done and I'm very professional and go-go-go all the time and on top of everything. But in my home life, I'm quite useless. I sometimes feel like I'm 12 years old rather than 37. I stay up way too late. I don't like going to bed (but then I'm so tired in the morning). I KNOW that I will be tired if I stay up half the night, but I do it anyway. I don't eat properly. I don't have much of an appetite, so I usually make myself eat once a day and it's usually some frozen microwaved thing and a yogourt. I haven't cooked in a long, long time. I don't clean up my flat. I procrastinate about EVERYTHING when I'm at home. It's like I'm a teenager whose parents have gone away for the weekend.

The strange this is, I was extremely responsible when I was a child and a teenager. My mum needed a lot of help and I was basically another mother figure for my much younger brother. I did most of the cooking and cleaning. Even when I was in my 20s and early 30s, my flat was always perfectly tidy and my life was quite structured. When I lived with my boyfriend, I cooked dinner every night. That has all flown out the window in the past 2-1/2 years, though, and I don't know why. My home life is a disorganized mess and I get overwhelmed by the disorder and disorganization... and overwhelmed when I think of how I can change it. I just feel like it's IMPOSSIBLE.

Sorry for the uber-long post. This bothers me and it's on my mind a lot. I'm happy with my career and my relationships with friends and family, but this one part of my life is not the way I want it to be and I don't know how to change it. It stresses me out. I hate the mess and I worry about my bad eating habits and the lack of sleep. I try, but I can't make myself do that things I KNOW I should do. I feel like I WANT to do certain things, but I can't put myself in motion or stick to a schedule when I'm at home. I'm a different person from the person I am at work. Am I just lazy?

Does anyone else experience this? Struggle with this? Can anyone relate? Has anyone overcome this? Any advice?