I thought they were going to be able to see right through me and commit me (even though I am not commitable at this point I have this feeling a lot when I go to doctors. I think T knows how well I'm doing by that.

But T says I have trauma from my psychosis: Before I got help I shrugged it off as "eh, that's me" because my siblings are the same. Except for one of the times where I was a danger to others for a couple of months. Its been 16 yes and I still shiver at that time of my life. After 3 yrs of therapy, if I realizes I'm being irrational I'll flip into " omg, omg, omg its happening again" usually my first response is to run and tell my husband, then cry. That's why when I was paranoid of him it was so bad for both of us.