Quote:
Originally Posted by Can-I-Say
I feel like I intentionally isolate myself because I have a great support system in my family and select friends, and as lucky as I feel for that, I feel like an incredible burden for the poor decisions I've made, both before and after my diagnosis.
For people who don't fully understand bipolar disorder and what it entails, someone suffering from it can easily look like a self-involved, careless, reckless, irresponsible narcissist with no regard for others... and who wants to be around that?
I DO appreciate my solo time -- I always have -- but becoming less isolated is definitely a hurdle I'd like to clear in the future.
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Agreed. My behavior when I'm too far up is so outside my normal character that it's like I'm another person. The same for when I'm mixed and/or depression. I have been struggling with a strange episode where I was down for about a month (left my job, hid in my house), then felt better for about 3 weeks, now have crashed again into apathy and indecisiveness with no motivation and I just feel hopeless. I am crushed because I've never cycled like this before.
So yeah, isolating myself is a problem in those states and it doesn't help relationships. I am very concerned with what they think of me and I hate that I appear like you described sometimes, or just like a inconstant, inconsistent, irresponsible person. It's like I'm 3 different people depending on what my mood state is. Frustrating.