this is helpful, thanks.

The kids are great, really polite and well mannered. It worries me that they might seem ok on the outside but really, they hate me.

It doesn't seem there are any specific do's and dont's so i think i'll just roll with it and see what happens. Adults can be cool right?

I was also the child in this situation but it didn't go to well. I met dads new GF when i was 6. It was fiery and filled with arguments but i think that was because my mum was still hurting. I don't recall it being a pleasant experience for me so it must have been awful for my dads GF.