I have to agree with gayle and add....you will ALWAYS be at the bottom rung where his kids are involved, and if you didn't already know that...news flash, that's what happens when someone becomes a parent.

As for the constant calling from his soon-to-be-ex...yeah, that's not good at all. And boundaries should have been set by now, I totally agree. So set them. For YOU.

I know you're in love and its 'movie-like' love, but that kind of love happens in movies for a reason...it's not real. I know you feel you've worked too hard, invested so much into this relationship to leave it now, but a wise woman once told me, when I was having issues with my now ex.....don't get hung up on thinking what you've given up, time you've spent, love you've invested in a relationship that is not going where you need it to. It's not about the time or investment. It's about THE RELATIONSHIP...and if it is failing for whatever reason.....cut your losses and walk away.

That said, first, talk to him, Explain your concerns....DON'T IMPLY THE CHILDRENS NEEDS ARE SECONDARY by bringing them into the whole phone thing. If he does, and he will, explain you totally get he needs to address issues about the kids...then ask....if the minutia are so important, perhaps he needs to ask for more time with them...aka custody. Let him float that one down the stream of his soon-to-be-ex's river.

In the end, only you know what to do, but like gayle, I've been there, done that...and it usually ends messy.

Take care...(hugs)