Hello Twprhd, welcome to Psych Central.
After 20 years of marriage, it's hard isn't it. Being forced into saying that, is not going to make you believe it. So what do you want to do about your relationship? Do you want to work on it or is it time to cut loose?
Here are some interesting links on a controlling relationship -
Signs of a Controlling Guy | Psych Central
Why Women Stay with Controlling Men | Psych Central
5 Steps To Escaping An Emotionally Abusive Relationship | World of Psychology
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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