ok, i'm going to try and answer all of these posts, they're helpful. Thanks

The lack of communication is not just in general. Its about things that he knows are difficult to talk about, he hates confrontation. But this is just old habits dying hard.

He recognises that part of the reason his marriage broke down was due to lack of communication. But not entirely, they didn't love each other any more.

trying2survive - There's never any screaming or yelling, we have calm and composed conversations. This is great... WHEN we finally get there. Its the getting there that's the difficult part. I hate yelling and screaming, its so pointless and exhausting. When he knows the answer is going to be difficult, that's when i get the 2/3 word answers, or he'll switch off totally like when you're ex was yelling.... only there's no yelling. It makes me want to yell at times though, very frustrating!

After some talks over the past week i expressed my concerns and he says he understands why i get frustrated when he doesn't talk about things. He said he's just not used to being able to openly talk about his feelings without being scrutinised or being made to feel less like a man. I get that. He said he's going to try and improve so i guess I'll just have to sit tight.
I love this saying "you will get more flies with honey than you will with vinegar"