TRIGGER Warning.....

Alison, to answer your reply. I have self harmed for as long as I can remember. I would hurt myself to get my dads attention off my mom so he would beat me instead of hurting her. At some point in time I learned to use SI as a way to release everything inside. I had to learn to not show my feelings to protect myself. If I cried then what every kind of abuse I was enduring would be worse. "Conceal don't feel"

About two months ago I was the victim of an attempted rape. Then I realized that I set myself up for it. That is when I first cut this time. The next cut was a release of the overwhelming feelings. The urges now is the same... too much stuffed inside and I don't know how to let it out. (My therapist just started working on helping me learn to feel).