I understand needing somewhere to say that, newtus, but with suicide it's so hard for us on the other computers, because we're not near enough to help. It makes us worry and feel a little helpless. I 100% understand needing someone to say it to, maybe there are people who are trained to help in these situations?

I hate calling helplines when I feel suicidal, because I don't want anyone to hear me talking on the phone. There are internet based services like https://www.imalive.org/

We will understand how you feel when you say you're suicidal, but we won't be able to do anything. None of us want to see you hurt. I know I'm new to this forum, but I really like you.