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Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful
Was your ex-T male or female? I don't want to interpret this wrong and I'm confused because you said ex-T had "erotic paternal transference" but then you were using female pronouns. I'm not sure if there are two different people or the same?? 
If ex-T was male, perhaps you are better off sticking to female T's due to that experience. Regardless of gender I will reassure you there are most definitely other amazing Therapists out there. I believe there are more good than bad. It is difficult to find a good fit and sometimes it may take some work to find the right person...but they are out there!
I am so sorry you had that experience. It sounds awful.  That is so sad that you would reach the point of shaking during sessions and you dreaded going. It is normal to dread sessions because Therapy is hard and some issues/topics are difficult to face; but not normal to dread sessions because you fear your Therapist.
Does you current T want you to find a new T in general, or just for the time she is away? I hope everything works out for the best! Keep us posted if you can. |
She was female, but I don't think it was maternal transference. I feel like maternal transference is nurturing and caring and empathetic. Her transference was basically sizing me up, but she claimed she was having to do my parents' job, so she had some kind of parental transference at least. It seemed more like what I have read about how male therapists groom their clients. She was just slowly sexualizing the relationship and making more and more comments about my appearance. And it was palpably predatory. Idk. Maybe I am biased because I always viewed my father in that role too, always sizing me up and telling me what to do.
And yeah I had come to her for anxiety, but it was actually worse in therapy than anywhere else in my life.
New T wants me to find a new T for while she is gone, she is worried about me not having a T for the summer.
Thanks for your support.
I'm going to call this new T on monday and ask about insurance... I'm really afraid though...