Quote:
Originally Posted by Lmciyah
After years of mental health neglected with issues that started as a child, is there hope after a middle aged meltdown. So many things I would like to discuss with therapist, but would take a lot of time. After being hollered at as a child shut up, shut up, I've done told you to shut up when usually it was a because of a brother that was always touching me which I hated. So I learned to suck it up and tough it out. Now I am stuck in this middle aged meltdown, unable to work, and depending on and having to help take care of that very person.
Is there hope for me as I battle this bipolar as I have only been in treatment for 7 months and see a very long road ahead.
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Of course there is always hope, Lmciyah! I would imagine several other PC'ers will leave replies to this effect... and they will be correct. But, as for me, if I'm going to be completely honest, I have to tell you that I take a dimmer view.
I have been mentally ill since before I have memories. I can tell, by pictures I used to have, that by the age of 2 I was already in trouble. But, back when I was growing up, mental illness was right up there with original sin. My parents just pretended it didn't exist & they taught me to both hide it & deny it both to myself & others. I have said a few times that if denial were blankets, I would have been crushed by the weight.
I carried on like this until I was in my early 50's, drowning in depression & anxiety & just scraping by day-after-day. When I reached my early 50's I had a bout with cancer. And after that I began to unravel. And I've been unraveling ever since. I've self-harmed to the point where I have permanent physical damage & I've survived 2 serious suicide attempts.
I've had to fight "tooth-&-nail" to get anything at all in terms of help & what I've gotten has been so inadequate that it's almost humorous. My perspective is that once you get to be 50 or older, you're just excess baggage. Nobody gives a rip. You've made it this far on your own, so just deal. Like I said, this is just my jaded perspective. I'm sorry.
As far as my mental health problems themselves go, I would also have to say that I don't hold out allot of hope. I've had the problems I have my entire life. My problems are so ingrained at this point that I really do doubt that anything could change them significantly now. So, from that standpoint, I would have to say that I agree with the people who say I'm just too old to make me worth bothering with. They're probably correct.
Once again, though, I want to stress that this is just my jaded opinion. I hope that your experience can be different. But one thing I am convinced of is that it's a battle. You not only have to fight your own demons, but at the same time, you have to battle all of the people & service providers who will look at you & think to themselves: "too old to worry about."
Again, I apologize for this. But it is my honest appraisal. I hope that, by my being honest, I can in some way help you to have a better experience.
