Hey, Thiswayout. I am glad that you are able to think about what might be happening. And avoiding it.
I think we can ask ourselves some specific questions to help us to figure out what we need. Maybe questions such as 1) Am I lonely? 2) If so, then what do I need from other people? 3) Do I need a listening ear? Someone to give me a hug and make me feel valued? Someone to care?
Please read the sticky about other things you can do besides hurt yourself. Okay?
And maybe distract yourself from your pain and be nice to yourself--a warm bubble bath, a shower, hugging a pillow, etc.
I am not sure how many folks are here right now, but you can look at the bottom of the forum page to see who is here and maybe contact some of them. Just be patient about hearing back. You will be okay.