I haven't posted in months, I am feeling much better. I have a boyfriend and I'm going to college in the fall. I feel better when I'm around my boyfriend, but it's embarrassing when he has many friends and knows people while I have 0 friends and talk to people only online. He wants me to have and make friends, but it's not easy for me and it's kind of insulting to say something like that. Like I'm not a normal person unless I have friends. I don't really leave my house, I'm isolated and have social anxiety. I only had friends in middle school, after that only guys who wanted to date me would hang out with me. I relied on my older brother to be there for me, we're best friends and get each other. My brother lives in another state now and I've been adjusting to life without him. It irritates me how my boyfriend said he doesn't want me to rely on him for everything, when I don't. If there's anyone who is my everything, it's my brother. I've told myself I don't need friends or people and that I'm happy by myself, and yet here I am crying how lonely I feel that no one here gets me...