Oh, you poor thing with no orgasms. I hope you get help with that.

I do not see what the big deal with initiation is for you. I do see why it is a big deal for him - he wants to be wanted. But it is trivial to do that for him - catch him unaware, put your palms on his eyes from behind, ask him to guess, giggle, remove your hands, stroke his face with the back of your leading hand, with your eyes, point towards the bedroom, raise your eyebrows, bat your eyelashes a few times, and give him a bashful smile. Takes longer to write about it than to execute these simple steps. There are countless alternatives, of course, the point is that initiating sex can be ligjthearyed and playful - not a chore.