I have made many errors in life. I've trusted the wrong people, gave my virginity to the person I loved but when he left me, I was left with such pain that I didn't care whom I went out with or flirted with. I never did have intercourse again but did get physically close with some in other ways. Now I've met someone who loves me in all ways but he just can't get over the past. He says that I should have waited for him.
Had I not had a past, he wouldn't have touched me before marriage. But now he asks for intercourse daily and we've had intercourse many times.
He kisses and touches me in office and says he does it cos he loves me, but wouldn't have if not for my past.
He says all rude things, as jokes. E.g. he jokes that I should have been in porn, etc.
Is this punishment fair. Should I always endure this till my death and go to hell. I couldn't leave him. But I am so depressed and confused.
The Bible says that it is wrong to even think of people other than our spouse. But will I never get forgiveness?