Woke up this morning feeling nothing, numb. Maybe this is a good thing right now, though this feeling can cause the urges to get worse eventually too. I need this to pass because I don't know how much longer I can fight. I almost gave in last night, I didn't break the skin completely but I do have a mark from where I almost cut. I hate that this is happening on a holiday weekend because my therapist will be out of reach.
I keep thinking if I just give in then the urges will stop, but will they? Sometimes they don't. I just want it to stop.