So yeah, I'm angry with him, but I'm also afraid by the idea of stopping seeing him. I've invested so much - time, energy, money, emotion, vulnerability - in seeing him, and he has helped me in so many ways. But I can't have this happen again. And I need him to reach out to me more. I'm starting to wonder if he truly CARES about me, not just that he is concerned about me.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I didn't go to the bridge because I wanted his attention? Because I wanted someone to save me? I hate saying that because it is so embarrassing and I don't think that is completely true, but maybe there is some truth to it.