i have found that experience is the best teacher, not the friendliest, not the most understanding..but simply the best teacher.it is up to each of us to listen to the lessons life teaches us, when we don't listen and correct the problem..pain and suffering persist. many of my problems..as well as yours are of our own making.

sometimes we know the "correct" decision, the one most beneficial to us, yet we refuse to do so. to do so would be to make a "change" we don't wish to do, to take us out of our comfort zone, or to make us do "work" that we are too emotionally lazy to do(search for a new partner, one that is good for us).

it's easier to stay with the person we are with that is not good for us..because we are comfortable with them, we have done the leg work already..we don't want to do the legwork of meeting someone new," it's time consuming", it's a pain in the *ss", "what if i find somebody even worse?" we tell ourselves..all excuses to avoid the elephant in the room.

experience is teaching you, but you aren't listening to the message.
so instead, you let your emotions take over..because it feels better than logic and reason...logic and reason are telling you something you don't want to hear...thus you let the emotions fill you with hope for change that isn't coming..then again, you are frustrated by failure.

logic and reason don't give you the fireworks and passion, but it protects you from prolonging the pain & helps you avoid pain and suffering in the first place! rely on your logic & reason....and the emotions will fall back under control, recognize emotions for what they are..feelings,tension,pressure.
once you recognize the emotions only then can you begin to control them.