Hi Misunderstood. Wow your mom had quite a life!! Maybe if she wrote a book it would keep her busy.... No.... but seriously, if your moms behavior bothers you that much you are the only one that can do anything to change it! She is smothering you and no one else. Sorry, but as you put it.....grow some.... or deal with all the calls!
If you ask your sons or your brothers to say something it is putting them in a position to say how you feel etc. If you choose to talk to your mom be prepared for hurt feelings but if you choose the right time and right words she may still be offended or hurt, but with time will understand.
No easy way to go! Good luck