Hi Sandy. Something similar happened to me a number of times when I first left home and moved into a university dorm. I was very happy and I loved it there. I had been somewhat of a mother to my own mother when I was a teenager, so I was worried about her -- worried about leaving her behind because we were so close and she depended on me and I knew how much she missed me... and I felt quite guilty that I felt so free and didn't miss her nearly as much as she missed me... or nearly as much as I felt I should have.

Anyway, for the first few months, occasionally, I would be startled awake by her voice saying my name clearly and urgently. I could hear it so clearly. The first couple of times it happened, I actually ran down the hallway to the payphone and called home because I thought something had happened to her... and just had to know that she was okay. Over time, I got used to it happening on occasion and knew it was just a dream -- just my anxious subconscious calling out to me, and then, eventually, it stopped completely. I got used to my new life -- all the changes -- and I knew my mum was okay.

So, maybe you have some anxiety about being alone. Maybe you're worried about your children... worried that they need you. Maybe you're so used to being vigilant about protecting them, your subconscious is still focused on that... or perhaps deep down you're sort of grieving that they're not there. It sounds like your mind isn't shutting off. You're not getting any rest from your thoughts and anxiety is creeping in when you're half-asleep.

You should talk to your doc about your trouble sleeping. You really need to get some good, deep sleep for your health. ((Hugs)) to you.