I am at my worst right now, bouncing from rage to depression. A mixed state that started two months now and shows no signs of slowing down. I was undiagnosed almost my entire life, living a miserable existence not knowing why people hated me and avoided me. Countless fist fights, suicidal thoughts, the bad choices with money and relationships and my career. The long sleepless manic weeks. The months I could not stop myself from sleeping. Only half a year ago I learned the name of the parasite that lives in my brain. And even then I didn't get any relief. Battles with insurance, nurses and inexperienced doctors and money have greatly delayed my treatment. I still suffer, pain that will not end. This might be the darkest part of my life

It might be my rage influencing me right now, but **** hope. I don't need hope to fight. I need power! And you can't earn power, you have to take it. Take it from your enemy. Take it from the very thing you must fight. Use your BP to gain power then use that power against it. Get MAD. Release all that built up emotion. Then use that energy to build your resolve. Once you have resolve you can't be stopped. FIGHT because you can. Fight because you want to. Fight because it gives you power.

Don't fight for hope because, lets face it, in or darkest hour is that really something we can feel? Feel the pain and let it power you!