Hello all, I joined the boards today not in search of sympathy but of some input and direction. I apologize in advance if the post is too long, I'll try to summarize the best I can...
Anyway, for the last 6 months or so I've been gradually feeling more depressed. I think I've figured out why, but nobody I've talked to has really understood from what I could tell. It's very frustrating. Lately I've had a real hard time focusing and just getting through each day. I'm not even sure how I am still able to get anything done. A few nights after work I've just kind of crashed because I felt my mind was shot from racing all day. I seem to have much anxiety as the result of my dilemma, and I'm just not happy. I've had to rely on a masterful level facade in order to appear just fine, but that's getting harder to do and I feel the sadness is starting to bleed through.
Profound loneliness seems to be at the core of my troubles, probably a natural result of living a pretty shrouded life. I go to work for 8-9 hours, come home, and repeat. Not much else. Every now and then I'll go out with a friend of something, but such occasions are rare for me these days. I've never been in a relationship with anyone which, at 25 years old, doesn't make me feel very good about myself either. I'd consider myself a more introverted individual, yet plenty sociable... and never having that sort of special bond doesn't make me feel like much of a person I guess. It's hard not having that vital connection when you're feeling this way too. Something I feel that most people have.
So, I plan to see a counselor soon because I'm just feeling really alone; not sure what to do. I've never been diagnosed with anything, and I am a very healthy person and in great physical condition. However I am seeing myself slip further and further away from the life I'd like to lead. I've felt this way before, but it was easier to accept when I was younger and in more of a transitional time, about 10 years ago. But now, I've just become this sort of lonely guy who feels he's basically getting nowhere. Hoping I can find a way to fix it all, because right now I feel pretty empty.
Can anyone relate, or provide me with some input? Sorry again for the length of the post.
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