OK, ... can you give us a tangible reason as to why you don't deserve all those things? Mental health disorders are not a punishment, ... I did not deserve to be this way, and by that same merit, neither did you. I get that you're angry, but for the love of [insert your God, here] don't aim that anger at yourself, aim at it your mental health problems; they are the problem, not you.

Get in touch with Mind and/or Talking Space, ASAP, and you'll likely get yourself some decent support. Mind deal with housing, as well as social and mental health support. Might also be worth looking up support groups in your area.